
Detail, Abraham with Three Angels by Pieter Lastman, 1623. Hermitage Amsterdam.

Detail, Abraham with Three Angels by Pieter Lastman, 1623. Hermitage Amsterdam.
So God has turned you loose.
Welcome, welcome!

I have often thought Purgatory would not be some
hot fire of God, but, knowing me and what
would be excruciating for me, a
glimpse of every witless and witty,
witting and unwitting hurt I’d done –
all played back in the clarity of lovelight –
God at the back, wordless, with me left to
make of this story what I could –
the reputation-slicing jokes, the
cold overwhelming power to ignore –
even for years, even to this day –
boots on flowers, the girl crying
as she shuts the door, the friend who
knows I was never a friend –
and in answer to this nothing but
my own tears, the endless stream of them.
I almost welcome it. Why not
start now? Why not separate
the spirit from the salt and get the jump
on what so obviously must be done?
I thought of this yesterday, seeing a man
doing just that, though invertedly, being on
on this side of the divide, and not
regretful but grateful.
He was engaged in a kind of
love summation, going back over the old ground,
reviewing blessings –
the man who’d said, you’ll need a trade,
the doctor who’d cured tuberculosis,
the girl who hadn’t turned him in.
He, too, was in tears,
but here at the splendor of it all,
knowing you couldn’t contain it,
couldn’t hold even one of those blessings –
not in your little cup,
not in your little hand.
I am the box
lid open
not big enough for God
so flat now
wide as a box can be
Hands you the keys.
A soul should wilt but you won’t.
You’ll drive till the end of time
and when you’re done
you’ll put it back here.
Two wrongs don’t make a right,
but two negatives
do make a positive.
Go figure.
Walk in the light,
but God also made the night,
so yeah, Hello?!
We’ve got to get back to the Garden,
but can’t because history is linear.
Great!
I’m gonna put it all in a bag and shake it,
and see what comes out.
Prob’ly a calico cat.
I thought I was supposed to
do something big,
but it kept never happening
and I felt really small.
My heart became a sad, little
shrinking thing, and if you took me
whole and entire, I’d have fit through
the hole of a salt shaker.
The crystals were like boulders to me.
The worst of it was
I knew it was good to be little
and so I felt I
had no right to be sad.
I was selling the message of
poor in the Spirit, and believed it too,
so why was I sad? I knew big
would do nothing for me.
Thank God I wasn’t always sad.
Joy stole up like a teasing child.
Play a game. Look at my kaleidoscope.
I didn’t have the heart to shoo her away.
All she had to do was move a single cloud
and the whole world looked different.
When she left, though, to play with her ocean,
I’d put all the clouds back in place.
And it stayed that way, my face
fixed in a wrinkle, and it
stayed that way
until one day I saw
what the problem was.
I was trying to be big by being
a prophet of the little,
but forgot to be, really be, little,
a man at home in his own wooly heart,
working in sleet and sun and stain,
ready to live life alive again.
A man in a hat. A man with a rake.
A man whom happiness would not forsake
at the drop of a hat.
So now I’m off to do that job –
to work for free in God’s own yard.
God will rain and God will blow,
and I’ll rake His leaves and shovel His snow.
And smile as I do, for the little I know.
The lesser god of absence
Their eyes apologized as they spoke,
two earnest men, smiling,
backing away as I opened the door.
We’re having an event, we wanted
to invite you.
When they were gone I read of loyalty,
God’s to us and ours to Him.
I saw the next door
and the next eyes.